Rebond not Rebound

Life is hard but it gets harder without the people we love and care for. Many often we don’t have a hold on the circumstances and a minor crack in a relationship can cause a catastrophe in life. Some relationships need relatively more love, care and attention and when any of the above hits below the satiety point, it’s the beginning of the uncalled end. That’s when we should assess and try to rebond rather than going for a rebound.

Every relationship no matter how strong is tied to a knot which can break while taking back-to-back blows. The breaking of the knot is however not the issue, the issue is not tying it back again with all your heart. Relationships where fights, arguments and disagreements are common, must be anchored by immense love and care as only these can heal wounds of many kinds. For this generation, I can say, It is an art to hold onto people and not letting them go easily.

Though it is vital to move ahead in life when it gets toxic but some people potentially can filter that and bring it back to its natural form. We live in an environment where insecurities trigger very quickly and get in the way of the natural healing process eventually resulting in a missing of hope from all the sides involved.

Rebond is real and an unhurried process but it definitely shows how you can forget and forgive things about someone or even about yourself and be giving again towards the people. We hear people everywhere on social media screaming about moving on from relationships and I think that has somewhere taken our power to reinvest in a bond that really meant something or everything to us.

What we do is instantly look for a rebound without computing how much reconstruction can still be done after taking an “X” amount of time wiping our tears. It’s not that we don’t try, we just don’t try hard enough. In my point of view, the rebound is just a yearning for attention only to fill the void generated. Rebound is vulnerable but also victorious sometimes and so is rebond. It’s obviously your choice to make but I humbly request you all to always try choosing to rebond in the first place and rebound then after. Do what functions right for you.

Its literally “U” standing between both the selections. Be wise about what comes first. Rebond not Rebound

Cheers!

Dark spots

We all have fears and insecurities to live with. They are settled very deep within but it haunts us when they are triggered by someone or something. It’s all dark till a ray of light is cast on it. I call them dark spots.

There are many such dark spots and each dark spot represents a different issue. Issues like anxiety, jealousy, frustration, anger, self-doubt, irritation, trust issues. These are all quite natural about humans. They are feelings that mostly live inside and come up when something wrong occurs in life.

The problem arises with our response to these feelings of insecurity. We often find ourselves responding in a negative way. We curl up and hide, lash out at someone in a hurtful way, harden our views, live in a bubble, run towards distraction to avoid feeling insecure etc.

The feelings mentioned above are not our regular feelings. These are not usual feelings that we are comfortable or familiar with. It makes us react unnaturally and contrary to our behaviour. People could not understand this phase and they are likely to say that we have changed or gone crazy. Hearing wrong perceptions from people about us affect our hearts and minds. We start behaving differently ( rudely, foolishly etc). This again drives people mad, they feel attacked making them react aggressively. The cycle goes on and on and nobody gives a damn about it after a while.

It takes more time to rebuild bonds than to break them. Rebuilding is a process that comes in the account of very few lucky ones. Do not let insecurity take decisions before time. It won’t take many seconds for our dark spots to come into the light from the shadows. And who doesn’t hate dark spots? Hahaha.

Cheers!

Circumstanding

I am aware that this is not a proper dictionary word but since we join words in our world, we can consider this one too. This word circumstanding means understanding circumstances.

Whenever you look at a scene in a film or series, it is shot (like the one above) in a way that makes it appear different from every angle. Similarly, circumstances can appear different from different angles. People in a situation mostly stick to their angle, to their side of the story without yearning for more possible alternatives.

When we look at a situation with different perceptions, we derive what is called complete understanding. Complete understanding of a situation requires us to discover all reasonable angles or sides. On several events, we talk about having a complete understanding of a particular occurrence without even considering the fact that we hold onto a perception that is either easy or lying right in front of us. This is because it’s simple to not give a thought about things before forming an opinion.

Many people live their lives by thoughtlessly constructing an opinion that has got nothing to do with the actuality. Furthermore, they share their opinions with others leading them to feel the same way and hence reality is sacrificed in the process.

It would be ridiculous to expect complete understanding at all times because it’s not always that we remain in the right state of mind. Sometimes we are out of our senses and we overreact about things that are not worth reacting for. We must allow ourselves to assess our actions later and then try to understand things by learning other possible aspects or angles of the matter with utmost maturity. This habit develops circumstanding in life and also helps in forming opinions based on how things are in a broader sense.

The best exercise to develop circumstanding is to listen to people as much as you can. The more you hear stories, the more you get to know about people, things, behaviour. Observe how people respond in a particular circumstance and evaluate their actions supposing their reasons behind doing so.

Cheers!

Our burnt bridges

There was a great time when we used to sail towards our beloved ones. They used to wait for our arrival at the shore. Today neither they wait nor we arrive. Today the shore waits for them, and the boat waits for us.

The lesser they started waiting, the lesser we started sailing. The distance kept increasing to the extent that there was no shore left to wait and not enough strength in the boat to sail us through.

As time passed, we realised its time to take things back to normal. Giving space is not the same as distancing. While learning and realizing the difference, we forgot that it could not be the same on the other side yet we felt an attempt was required to know and understand things.

Without anticipating, we moved ahead with our plan. We got to know that with more time being passed, the distance has grown a lot than before. Well, that didn’t push us back as the journey we were on meant a lot to us. Surprisingly, that time sailing was not possible with a small boat we had, that earlier used to help us cover the short distance. The demand of the time was for us to build a bridge that could shorten the maximum distance between us and them.

We gathered our equipment with all the excitement that was there to reach the other end. As we finished building the bridge, it came to our attention that they were just getting ready to set the whole bridge on fire. It not only broke us but shattered us miserably. It was very painful to endure the action taken against us.

While the bridge was on fire, an ocean of tears departed from our eyes. Our desires were their protest and it was all been seen smoked up in the air waving at us before disappearing.

The idea of building a bridge is to establish an understanding through communication or to minimize the distance between to attain peace of mind.

To be precise, we either are building bridges or burning bridges.

Cheers!

The “Why me?”

Very often people place questions before me. Like “Why me? What have I done to receive this pain, this sadness or this kind of treatment?”. It always made me speechless to answer that. I may have a pleasing answer today.

According to human nature, we never ask questions like these for the gifts and privileges we receive. This is because we believe we deserve all the happiness, gifts and privileges. We feel that happiness is our birthright. Yes, that is true. But if happiness is our birthright then doesn’t it make grief/sadness our birthright too?

All the time we argue about life not being fair but do we really want it fair or do we just want happiness and contentment all the time? I think the almighty sitting above all of us is pretty much good at accounts. Maybe he knows what to debit and what to credit and who are we doubting his concepts?.

One thing I was being taught for years in my life was to catch the direction of the flow. The flow will decide where we should be taken and where to be picked up from. Life happens there where the flow stops. But we are all so afraid of the flow because of where it will drive us to and that is understandable. But when we go against the flow, some of us get lucky while some of us get lost. The truth is still undiscovered. One thing I am sure of is When we are not the driver of our destiny, we are always afraid of the destination.

The flow would not always be good, it will be bad sometimes. We just not have to unsettle the flow with the “why me” because it’s not just you, it’s all of us. It’s all of us in the flow different from one another.

The way you are

When a change takes place in life, it’s a whole lot of different experiences that kick in. I recognise change as the most powerful as well as a meaningful instrument in the universe. The power of it can either destroy or save the world.

Well, it had been said that change is something that comes from within. So, let’s talk about the world within us. Naturally, it changes the way you are for better or worse. Sometimes, the change you feel good about may not necessarily be good for you.

A change in your behaviour will affect your loved ones and when it becomes regular, it transforms into a habit. This could influence and bring changes in the behaviour of the people around you and it will form a chain in no time. If you look at the larger picture, one person adopting a negative change in life can affect dozens of other people associated.

A negative change is very much like covid-19, happens to one, affects dozens.

On the other hand, an unusual change takes away your authenticity. The thing that makes you you. I understand the point that circumstances force you to change your behaviour but it can equally change the behaviour of the people you love and nothing will ever be the same again. You will always lose some people at different times in life but you must never lose yourself in the process. Trust me on this, you will miss the old you at the end. Stop pushing your people and realise the worth of their character to save your relationships. Your sentiments are your superpower in a world full of insensitive species.

You are the best just the way you are!😉

Cheers!

Owning up

All the beautiful bonds we admire or cherish goes through the path we avoid most often in our life. With the avoidance of it, demolition of the bond becomes much easier than before. If people are looking for something that should slow down the bond demolition rate then they must stop behaving like small children.

The root cause of the chaos creation is whenever we see accusations around us, we never intend to defend ourselves but we get offended and behave aggressively instead. We attack with the same kind of weapon we were once attacked with. This truly leads to the beginning of Blame Game. Believe it or not we are all legends when it comes down to this game. As the level of the game increases, strength of the bond decreases. Only after everything reaches to the end, we begin to think where did it all end. There we have a thing called regret.

With regret appearing in the picture, we remain with two conclusions about it. Either to accept for what we have wronged or we could just give birth to ego. Now, when this ego comes in, we are blind enough to see what’s right or wrong. Once we followed this path, only god can save our relationships with people.

We can literally save almost every relationship by owning up to our mistakes. We all commit so many of them and if for some reasons we can’t correct them we must accept them atleast. Staying in denial would never sort things out. Hold accountability for what happened and clear the air around. We might lose the person in the process if the matter is very sensitive but it will also keep us contended as we atleast owned it and confronted.

Even if we have a very small share in a conflict, we must own it up. This will bring down the heat in both the minds. And to be honest, this is the mature way to handle things without spoiling the relation with someone. Being mad on someone is okay but holding it for too long keeping the person in regret is a bad decision we make. The biggest reason why people stay mad for too long is unacceptance from the other side. Once the gap takes place, it only widens getting worse.

Own up, confront, communicate.

Cheers!

Go-To Person

Trouble always has its own way to get to us no matter what. Well, sometimes we can dodge it while sometimes we cannot. Expecting or not expecting to get rid of it sooner is the secondary stuff. The thing that matters more is who do we turn to when things go sideways.

The person we turn to must be reliable and trust-worthy and if its not then its just an addition to the trouble. Some of us do really fight all the battles alone and that’s very appreciable and independent move. But somewhere along the line there could be a chance of us getting demotivated or becoming hopeless where we need a companion to hold us, to believe in us, to help us rise again even if we end up on the losing side.

The very person who does that is the Go-to Person we need in every frame of life. One can have multiple people though its very rare these days. But having just one is more than enough.

Even roads move us faster, uneven roads helps move us better. We want to move faster and better and to let that happen we have to move on both the roads.

No matter how the journey is, no matter how the road is, no matter what the destination is, as long as we have our go-to person with us, we are just not lost yet.

Literally, whatever is going on in our life or in the world, we can just hit up our go-to person to talk about it all with no fear of being judged and with no anxiety. We always know our secrets would be safe with them to the grave. The go-to person would always be our Happiness package filled with comfort, love, care and respect. Remember, we are the go-to person of our go-to person and we must behave exactly as we expect of them.

You dont need to search for a go-to person, just be one.

Cheers!

Live to Give

#life #lifelessons #writerscommunity #philosophy #writers #writeups

Confined selfishness is acceptable unquestionably. We all might have taken birth to serve different purpose in life. But we all share a common purpose i.e. how to make life beautiful?.

There’s a saying ” if you give a man fish, he can have a meal. And if you teach a man how to fish, he can have meal for the rest of his life”. Clearly the message being put in the line is give them what you are capable of and it will make your life beautiful when you try to make theirs. I really can’t get over with this message as it answered the above question.

So, i found the answer to fulfill our common purpose in a very unexpected place. It was surprising as i didn’t find it the first time. The answer was slept in the movie “lion king”. A dialogue of mufasa “ a true king does not bother about what he can take but what more he can give”. The intensity of the line was an eye opener to me. The message in context to making life beautiful was loud and clear and that is live to give.

Giving doesn’t imply that it can only be done with money. The unimaginable power of giving cannot be equaled with money. Though money is a powerful and helpful resource but it isn’t just confined to that. Giving out whatever you may feel is useful to the needy( not just poor) is a remarkable gesture and act of kindness.

There are so many things a person could get or give. Sometimes there are small things you believe is not worthy enough to be given but you never know what could prove to be useful to others. Giving with right intentions is important. It sounds so beautiful that one gesture could benefit both the parties involved. Its a win-win.

If you find meaning in the lives of those in need and do something about it, you will also find meaning in your own life.

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So give out the least you can and be a part of someone’s happiness. Love, care, encouragement, positivity, gratitude are the best things you can offer to someone. Just remember –

Live to Give

Cheers!

If you make it, you must keep it

You must be aware of this word. We get to find its value in most of the old movies and historical TV shows. But we probably don’t value this word in our lives. People made fun by quoting it as “promises are meant to be broken”. No dear, Promises are meant to be kept. Promise is a virtue of trust. Our generation is a slave to the internet and trends. Whatever is trending, even if it’s bullshit, it will attract public eyes.

When people make promises and don’t even remember, the feeling of betrayal slaps the soul. Now, when somebody uses the word promise, unwillingly I remind them about the word that just came out and what importance it carries in my life. People have trust issues because they have seen others turning their back against at the hour of need.

A person who keeps a promise looks like a fool to the unkind majority of the people. But for me, as a person, promise is the most admirable value as the trusting game totally depends on it. Though we cannot pass judgements to categorise a person into good or bad on the basis of promises being kept or not. Some genuinely try to keep their promise and fail miserably. But all it should take is an eye to see the gesture, to see the efforts made by the person to keep a promise.

You make a lot of promises as a child. But you really get to know its value when you grow and observe things about this nasty world. That’s when you prioritize promises in your life. You start making only those promises which you believe you can keep. Never make promises that you aren’t sure of. If you make it, you must keep it.

When someone promises you something, he/she is giving you a kind reason to trust. Which I believe is one of the sweetest gesture to admire. You really dont know anything about promises until yours is not being kept. One must understand how sensitive the word promise is. Use it very carefully. Only when you mean it.

PROMISE YOURSELF TO KEEP YOUR PROMISES AND TRUSTING WILL BE INTERESTING AGAIN.

Cheers!